Scelerophobia

Letter of Bellatrix to Tristan. Nuff said. [I’m still not done with Shooting Stars at Bellatrix! Sleep mode. ]

Dear Tristan,
Remember when I told you my greatest fears were thieves and being alone?
 
 I was sitting alone in my room last night, and all I could think of was you. I realised how much you mean to me, how much your voice soothes me, how fast you make my heart beat, how you make the world pause when you smile, and how deep I love you. You’re wonderful.
 
And as I thought of how wonderful you are, I realised how afraid I am.

I’m afraid that someone would come in and steal you away from me…then I’d be left all alone again. Now my fear isn’t really of thieves or being alone. My fear, ultimately, is losing you.

But my anxiety gets washed away when you assure me you love me. I trust you completely. My trust is the best I could give you, and you’re absolutely worth the best.

Love is infinite. Love is so vast that though I’ve given myself infinite love, I still have spare infinite love to give you. But trust… I’ve kept all my trust locked away from others for such a long time and now I give it to you.

I long to be with you.

Yours,
Bellatrix

The Genolution (Genesis and Evolution)

This is how I originally wrote the Genolution. Yes, no changes. Written in 2008 when I was 13.

I started theorizing all kinds of stuff. This consist of three parts. (Please extend your understanding, it’s written by a thirteen-year-old.) 

Science and religion mixed. Yea.

Part one – Evolution and the Genesis

Most of you must be familiar with these two. I had them mixed together. Weird, huh? These two contradict each other. But I see they have harmony.

In the Genesis, God created everything in seven days and the last creation is human.

In the theory of evolution, it says that our great ancestors were bacteria, microorganisms or whatever unicellular stuff. Whatever. There was already the big wasteland now known as earth. The first living things were sea creatures. They evolved until we had our first landlubber. It evolved and we had our first flying creature and human. Until now, we’re still human.

So, mix the Genesis and theory of Evolution. We have something awesome.

God’s seven days might be billions of years. Evolution takes place for billions of years. I mean, seriously, God’s world doesn’t revolve around the sun, right?  He has a different time!

God might have created every little thing by taking parts of an existing creature to form another. Where did I get that? It says in the Genesis that God put Adam to sleep and took out one of his ribs and formed His most beautiful creation, the woman a.k.a Eve.

Part dos - Elaboration. Sorry if it seems repetitive, I’m just going to make it clearer.

It says in the Genesis 2:21

“Then the Lord God made the man fall into deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh.”

I used this as one of the evidences of the Genolution. Knowing that God created woman by taking one of man’s ribs, we could say that God might have created everything by taking pieces of something to make another thing. Like in evolution, apes evolved to humans. God might have used His already existing creation, apes, to create humans by taking pieces of these apes. When He had created His first human, He might have wiped out all the other “prototypes” a.k.a. Homo erectus, Homo habilis etc.

You need to extend your understanding a lot. But with my thirteen-year-old mind, I’m afraid this is the best I could do to explain this. I still have a lot to learn! Just wait for my mind to come up with the right explanations, you’ll see!

Part trois – the character of God…and the possibility of aliens. [the craziest part of this theory]

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Ever wondered how God looks like?

When you make something, a painting or a sculpture for example, you feel proud about it… What if someone doesn’t appreciate it? And they tear it to pieces or burn it? I would get angry, I’d get hurt. You see, we’re deteriorating God’s creations. But God is a strong being, for sure. And I bet He wouldn’t let us humans get Him down. I bet He’d create more things…better things. This is where our “aliens” enter the scene.

God loves, gets angry, gets happy, gets lonely… just like us. And it’s possible that He may have gotten sick of what we’re doing to poor old Mother Earth.

THE UNIVERSE IS HUGE! Are there aliens? Probable! Very probable.

I hope you got my drift on this one.

Thanks for reading. I hope I caused you enough confusion to prevent you from sleeping for weeks.

I dream of my murder

Why do I often dream of me murdering someone/getting murdered by someone?

Last night I dreamt that I was in a hospital and was running from a man with a sledgehammer. I locked myself in the bathroom and screamed for help. Then I remembered I left something outside the bathroom so I waited for the man to get distracted. I took my chance when he did get distracted and opened the door to try and reach for that thing. He pounded me to death.

I have also dreamt one time that I shot a guy in a hotel elevator and got away with it because I had it all planned.

My gosh.

BTW, I am going to post my old theory of genolution. I found it and I don’t feel bad about posting it anymore. It’s really fascinating. I’m actually very proud that I thought of it while I was only 13. Awesome.

Tangerine-tinted moon.

I don’t ever want to see the sun again. I looked out the window and saw the moon immediately. The moon was bold yet calm in the striking teal plane, its full face was slightly covered with clouds but it still felt as though it was all that lit the sky. Stars? No, thank you.

The moon just kissed my worries away.

4:30

Endless, timeless and restless,

forever moving, ever long

bound to fall, I did my best

now here I have my poem of scorn

The holes are merely illusions;

Dates in the beating heat

Repeating words I cannot fathom;

a stressing call I cannot heed.

It’s about math. x( I wrote it while I was [not] listening to the prof. I’m really good with words, but numbers… Uhh.