Mindless

My poetry is so not exciting.

—-

With my restless mind I lie abed,

To garner our dreams of the forthcoming.

The image of thee, my beloved,

Stains the precious hours never mind-numbing.

Thou travel through time, scant of warnings,

Heedless of my drowning bosom.

Still I linger, waiting—hurting;

Deluging with tears where my love is from.

I gasp for breath when thou forsake me,

For I feel throttled by thee in my own place!

Desperately, I grip my sanity

And attempt to patch up my broken pace.

The marks of thy hand on my poor neck,

They vanish as months drift away.

But before that final tormenting speck,

Thou return to tarnish my naïveté.

Thou clever, merciless redhead;

To whom I am indelibly entwined,

If I should undergo this bloodshed,

Rest assured my love will remain thine.

Coastal City: The Dream Fish Part IX

I know the blog has been going down and up for a few days now and I’ve been thinking about moving to a new site. I’ve had trouble publishing and editing posts since it took me forever to load the pages. But hopefully the news I’ve been hearing from my friends that i.ph is going down isn’t true and they’re just having some difficulties. Anyway, here’s the penultimate part of the Dream Fish series. Please ignore the alternating tenses in the parts and report any errors.

Also, I’ve made a booklet for the Dream Fish and plan to put in some of my sketches of the scenes. Anyone interested?

—–

Halvar hangs up on Calais. Then he starts calling the same hospital he was confined in a few hours ago.

It was busy.

He retried calling around three times when his phone went flat. Damn useless phone, he says to himself.

“Lucie, where’s your phone?”

“Pocket,” she mutters.

He takes out her phone from the side pocket of her jeans and flips open her phone. It was also flat.

“Your phone is flat, dear.” He says, still trying to revive the phone. She responds to him by crying even louder.

It would take 15 minutes or more for him to limp his way back to the diner. But he was concerned something might happen to her in that short 15 minutes. Besides, Mrs. Park had already gone home by then. He cannot leave Lucie there alone, she was completely immobilised. It seemed that all he could do is miraculously get to carry her to her car and drive her to the hospital.

He sits beside her and mumbles, “I’m sorry, Lucie.”

“Do you think I broke your back or something? I don’t know what to do, Lucie…” he runs his hand through her golden brown locks and tucks it neatly on the other side of her shoulder while she lies prone. She could barely move with the antagonising throe, nor could she hardly speak with the tears and groaning.

“Halvar,” she takes a deep breath and says something yet unfathomable with the deluging rheum and snivelling.

“I can’t understand, Lucie.” This time, Halvar felt a deep paroxysm of grief at the sight of Lucie’s face down on the soil, yet he tried to muster enough strength and sanity to hold back as much emotions as he can.

“Lucie,” he says in a shaking voice. Lucie looks up at him; astonished by the new side Halvar was showing her. She peers sideward at the Halvar who was still brushing her hair with his hand; his eyes looked weary, and his lips dry and arched downward.

She inhales and tries to blink the tears out of her eyes. Then she tells him: “Do you think you can turn me over?” She must have cried her voice hoarse, because her voice was barely audible and cracking.

He thinks about it. He can easily roll her over supine but knew it would hurt her. “Do you think I should?”

“Yes, please. Quickly.”

He holds her left shoulder with one hand and her thigh with the other. He then pulls them upward and turns her over in a quick decisive move. Lucie screams out whatever is left of her voice and starts to cry again.

“I’m sorry, Lucie. This is all my fault.”

 Halvar lies beside her and starts to cry. “I’m sorry,” he says repetitively.

At one point while lying there, when their tears had subsided, they were just looking at the silhouette of the trees and the backdrop of the dark blue sky. Lucie only took in small and short breaths to lessen the pang on her back. She would hold her breath a few seconds then take a very brief one and hold it again.

“Are we going to die?” Lucie asks Halvar.

“No.”

“Are we going to get eaten by bears or wolves or something?”

“There are no bears or wolves here, dear.” Halvar sits up. He felt he had to do something; this was his entire fault, after all.

“I think I’ll go by the road and see if someone passes by. You stay here—“ he tries to stop himself from laughing about what he’d just said, but it just couldn’t be helped.

Lucie laughs dreadfully, the excruciating pain on her spine escalated. It was good that she could still laugh in that situation, but laughing was indeed too painful that it wasn’t near a best medicine anymore.

“Sorry about that. I have no choice, Lucie. I should at least make an effort to get us out of this mess I’ve put us in.” Halvar wipes off the dirt on Lucie’s face with his shirt. “I will be back every five minutes, okay?”

“Just come back.”

…

Calais decided she would go into Nathan’s house and maybe steal some of their food. She went straight to their kitchen and pressed her phone repeatedly for light. She opened the fridge and looked for something good to eat.

There was unexpectedly a big crash upstairs, she thought about going up to see what happened but she was afraid she might interrupt on something. After that loud sound, there was nothing. The hair on the back of Calais’ neck rose, as if something very creepy had just happened, or it could be just her imagination. Nonetheless, she sucked it up and chose to sneak up on the two upstairs.

She crept beside the door of Nathan’s room and looked through a thin crack into the room. It was too dark for her to see anything, but she heard not a sigh from the room. She stood against the wall for a minute and thought about what she would do. She was almost certain no one was in that room, but she could be wrong.

She thought about retreating and walking back to her house, but something was drawing her into that room.

Curiosity killed the cat.

“Nathan!” she said out loud. No one answered.

She took out her phone and pressed it. She then entered the room. She was right; no one was in the room. When she was about to approach the bathroom door, she stepped on something slippery and fell on her butt.

It was blood. There was blood all over the floor.

…

The road was just about thirty steps from where he and Lucie were.

He sits on the grass beside the road. Halvar could see the calm ocean from his spot, the moon made it glimmer. The ocean—it seems infinite. He imagined himself sailing on a small boat, endlessly.

He realises a good ten minutes had passed; he quickly struggles back on his feet and starts hobbling back to Lucie. He had spent so much time in those woods that he was never lost.

He wasn’t lost this time; he knew exactly where he had left Lucie.

“Lucie?” he yells. Just a soft moan would do for Halvar, for he had an excellent pair of ears. But he heard nothing, just the annoying sound of crickets. He calls for her over and over. But still, there was no answer.

Could he have forgotten where he had left her? Impossible, he passes by these trees every time he went to his secret place. He sits on the spot he remembered he left her, and looks up at the outline of the trees. Yes, he was pretty sure this was it.

He was panicking now. Lucie is gone.

Shooting Stars with Bellatrix Part I

Sorry! I figured it was time to take a break from Dream Fish. I’ve been meaning to write Shooting Stars with Bellatrix for such a long time now, probably even around the time I first posted Dream Fish’s first part. I hope you like this. Enjoy. Please report any grammatical errors. Thanks. Oh, and ignore the cheesy song. 

—-

Why must the good die young?

The burnished wooden floorboards of the empty room gleamed as it reflected the warm afternoon sun. Bellatrix’s vampire vision was not invulnerable even at that late time of the day, her sight was obstructed and she squinted on impulse. Wait a minute, she thought, could this be God?

Bellatrix was a tenacious atheist. Though she was raised as a Christian by her devout mother, her beliefs shattered away when she realised her life was crumbling right before her eyes; a complicated story she wished to never have to tell a single soul.

She stepped towards the brightness with one hand shading her eyes, searching for the source of the music that had been baffling her. A few steps and she recognised the familiar figures that were, quite ironically, hiding in the lightness. The room wasn’t empty after all.

His long bony fingers were gracefully yet swiftly moving about on the ivory keys of the grand piano, with some locks of his jet black hair settling down his face.

“David,” she said softly.

His powerful rendition of Valse d’Amelie ended midway with a big thump of broken notes out of surprise.

“Belle,” he stood up very hastily making the bench he sat on overturn so he had to clumsily pick it back up. Bellatrix was smiling the whole time.

“I did not mean to startle or disturb you.”

“It’s okay. Have a seat, please.” He patted one side of the bench’s surface and sat on the other. He then looked at her, waiting for her to sit right beside him. Bellatrix obliged, placing her heavy equipment for photography on the floor.

David started playing a series of notes, this time gentler, but he was pouring in just as much emotions as he was on the first song. After a while he started singing, in a rather high yet soft, gentle and pleasing voice, which was a shock to Bellatrix because he always spoke so sheepishly.

“I’ve gotten to the highest peak of this mountain, and I never plan on going back down again,” he began, looking into Bellatrix’s light brown eyes and occasionally shying away to the keys. Bellatrix recognised the tune; she had heard David hum repeatedly while she was taking photographs of monarch butterflies for a past exhibit.

He continued:

“The wind feels great up over here,

It reminds me of your long brown hair.

It gently sweeps across my face

And I can’t help my heart’s fast pace.

If you leave, I’ll wait for you

For I know that my love is true.

I know you’re the one for me, Belle.

If not, just keep me in a cell.

I’ll never find another muse,

You’re even brighter than Betelgeuse.

So would you be mine forever?

I swear I’ll be the perfect lover.”

His voice was the most beautiful. She felt her heart was somewhere else. Not for someone else but it felt to her as though her heart was taken from her and it was somewhere—floating in space, perhaps. Her hands trembled; the moment was indeed so blissful that she couldn’t utter a single word when he finished playing the song.

Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke, with shivers down her spine, “I love you.”

He placed his hand on the side of her face with his index finger touching her earlobe and his thumb gently caressing her cheek. He then moved his face toward hers and gave her a light kiss on the nose, and said “I love you too, Bellatrix.”

…

They were going to leave. Bellatrix had taken pictures of David after he had sung to her. She thought it was the happiest day of her life.

David rolled down the sleeves of his blue collared shirt and placed all his sheet music into his folder. He took Bellatrix’s camera bag and even offered his hand to her, which she took, and they walked out of their university with his arm across her body while he held her hand.

The sun had set by then, and they were already at the parking lot. Bellatrix took out her bulky camera and started teasing David. They were both laughing at Bellatrix’s childish jokes—but not for long.

The moment was very fast. Something came out of nowhere—a bullet—and with just a hiss; blood started spewing out from David’s chest. He dropped down on the gravel, barely breathing and nearly dead.

Coastal City: The Dream Fish Part VIII

Finally! Here you go! Please do tell if you spot any errors.

“It’s almost midnight.” Lucie says, peering into Halvar’s phone as he ransacks it.

“I know. It’s weird my mother hasn’t called yet.”

“Should I drive you back home?” asks Lucie, she was spinning the tea in her cup and smelling its camphor-like aroma.

Halvar ponders on this for a while. He eventually touches Lucie’s hand and gently pulls them down together with the hot cup.

“I’ve got a better idea.” Halvar says.

 “What now?”

“Come.” He pulls Lucie up with one hand and could have dragged her out of the diner but his limp had planned otherwise.

“Bye, Mrs. Park!” he yells.

“Am I going to take that off of your credit card again because I—“

The door closed.

“You have a credit card now?” asks Lucie.

“No.” he snickers in between the words. “It’s my brother’s.”

They walk along the clump of seemingly endless trees. As they advanced, Jang’s disappeared from their sight and their only sources of light were their phones and the half-covered moon.

Lucie couldn’t help darting her eyes every once in a while into what seemed to be a jungle they were walking along. She was afraid. The fact that she was with a fairly handsome and athletic man barely lessened her fear because apparently, if anything decided to attack the two, Lucie would have a greater chance of getting to run away than her one foot friend. She might as well be the ginger’s knight in shining armour.

“Don’t look into there, it’ll freak you out,” he says and he holds Lucie’s hand. Lucie didn’t know how to react to it or even interpret the gesture. She just felt that his hand was very warm but couldn’t hold it tight because she was shy. She didn’t even know what to make of it, was he afraid or just trying to make Lucie his cane? She enjoyed it, either way.

“Is it going to be far? I don’t think you could make it with your bad foot. Your wound might open. I don’t want to bring you back to the hospital and apologise a tenfold to your mother for letting you sneak out.”

“What, do you want to give me a piggyback ride?” Halvar sticks his tongue out and laughs.

“I’m just a concerned citizen here! Anyway, is that a dare?” she jokes in a smug voice and finishes her sentence by sticking her tongue out as well.

“Dare!”

Almost immediately, he stops in his tracks and hops onto Lucie’s back. Lucie lets out a loud shriek which bellowed into the woods and stumbles to the ground. Halvar stands up and holds her shoulders as if wanting to lift her up from the earth, but he was afraid he had broken her back because she was already crying face down.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asks in a husky and panicking voice.

Halvar’s natural ginger blush turned into a ghastly ivory pallor as he hears her mumble in her tears, “my back…”

…

Calais takes out a few coins from Nathan’s “emergency money” that was always left untouched in the hidden pocket at the very bottom of Nathan’s backpack.

“I’ll pay you back.” She whispers to the bag as if the open zipper of the pocket forming the shape of an angry face was staring back at her.

The rain had stopped by then. She runs out to the front door with the money in her hands. But much to her surprise, the cab, well, and the cabdriver, were gone. She comes over to the fence and looks around.

No one.

As she looks at the deserted street, she notices how one by one the lights from the towering street lights and houses diminished and turned into darkness.

She turns her back and looks at Nathan’s house. The light from his room was gone. She turns again, no cabs around. She was basically thinking were she would go, into Nathan’s house where he was being “intimate” with some weird-looking girl she hasn’t met or stay outside and use the money she stole—borrowed, rather, from Nathan to pay the cabdriver.

What should I do? She was getting bored. So she brings out her phone and sat at the front porch of the Zenelis’ house. She rings Halvar, who answered her call a few rings before it ended.

“Hey, hold on, okay? I think I might have broken Lucie’s back or something. I’ll just call you back, okay? Bye.”

Call ended at exactly 5 seconds. Calais didn’t even get to say anything. She felt mad. How on earth did Halvar manage to break Lucie’s back at midnight? Weren’t they at the hospital? And wasn’t the freshly-stitched wound of his causing him to become limp? But most importantly, why is Lucy still with him? In the middle of the night? With a possibly broken back? What could he have done to break her back?

He knew she was always jealous of her, or at least that’s what she made him feel she felt.

She was furious, jealous, sad and confused at the same time. But mostly confused. What the heck will she do now?

…

Nathan was electrified. But the thrill of his first kiss was not only short because of Calais’ unexpected appearance, for the girl’s breath emanated a queer stench of blood and scales.

Panic arises once again and Nathan had the compulsive urge to jump out the window just to escape the situation.

Just when he was on the brink of running off and screaming like a girl, the power suddenly went out. It had saved his reputation. However, he became even more baffled as the girl’s pasty skin, in the darkness, seemed to be glowing like balls of energy.

He passed out soon enough.

Have you guys met my pet polar bear?

This sweet little polar bear is actually my Japanese Spitz. Her name is Uban, which means tiny white hair sticking out of human head. Yea, the ones you can find on your mum..or your dad, perhaps. This photo was months ago, she’s eight months old now and doesn’t look like that, she looks cool now. She is just so sweet, to me, most of the time. She bites and jumps on my cousins and barks at everyone else. I kept telling my people to do what I told them so Uban wouldn’t go all alpha dog on them but, eh, people are sometimes harder to teach than dogs, you know.

Well, since I’ve gone to college she’s left inside her tiny dog house and when I checked on her she had a big patch of pink on her forehead, there were a few spots of blood but you can totally see that the pink was mostly because of the missing hair. I have no idea what happened.

Anyway, I gave her a bath, which was awkward. She wouldn’t get out when I opened the hatch. I was expecting her to run wild asap but she didn’t; she stayed right at the back of her tiny space and wouldn’t bulge when I told her to get out. She did run wild, however, when I left her for some minutes to get her bath ready. Still, it was weird. The other dogs in our household would run like crazy when you get them out..and pee on your slippers and stuff. I’m starting to really think about what could have happened to her. I hope the stray cats didn’t do stuff to her. Because then, I’d so tie their legs and throw them into sacks and make them siopao for merienda. Kidding, of course. But it reminds me of Mrs. Mooney’s pie shop. Inside joke alert! 

I carried her to the laundry room where I usually bathe her, she was so much heavier and her nails were so long. I can’t remember when the last time I had her nails cut. Anyway, as I carried her, she accidentally scratched my back and it was so painful I almost had to let her fall off of my arms. But I’m okay now, I just have a few embossed pink lines on my back.

She wasn’t as frisky as before. She’s matured, so yay.

I hate seeing our dogs get lonely. Tomorrow I’m going to try give Boomer, our [I think she’s almost] one year old Black Labrador. She’s so clever, I hope she doesn’t outwit me. I’m serious. You underestimate the dogs, they’ll outsmart your crazy butt. I also hope she doesn’t jump on me, because I’ve never trained her. I was overwhelmed by her before, but I think I can take her now. She seems calmer now. Heh. Then after her, I’ll go give eight-year-old Turko, our Dachshund, some love. He’s really sweet, too.

I remember when I was in third grade, I would set up some obstacles for him and make him jump across blocks that were twice his size and make him jump from a high chair which was around 10 times his height, which I totally feel so bad about. I didn’t know the consequences back then, but I’m glad I didn’t break his spine or anything. I guess I wanted my little Dachshund to be like our old German Shepherds, badass competition dogs..which I miss so badly. I miss you, Anka!

That’s all for now. This is just making me sad now. Good bye for now.